i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
