I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
