Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
