I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
