CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
