is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
