How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
