you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
