What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Floor bacon is actually really good
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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