I have demons in me.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
