I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
just tell him i said nine months
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
