I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
