TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
