3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Randomize
