She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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