I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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