i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize