the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
