in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize