At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
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