i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Bring me that man meat
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
