Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
