I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
