I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
