4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
