Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
