New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
