I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
