I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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