You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
