He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
