I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Tornado booty call.. dedication
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
