he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Boobs are out for the taking
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
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