Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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