I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
