if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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