I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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