I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
