you turned your livingroom into a bong?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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