yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Help. Why am I so naked?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
