I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
