your room smells of hookers.
And success
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
He has the fingertips of a God
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