I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
