im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
