New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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