I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
