I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
