Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Randomize
