How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize