This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
