You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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