im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
