lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i think i have two assholes
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
