Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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