Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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