i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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