I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
