Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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