Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
