I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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