Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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