i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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