Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Come see our sink grown plant.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
