he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
why do cheetos always look like penises
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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