I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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