My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
