batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
