and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
you inspire me to be a worse person
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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