RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize